Reflections on that Inner Critic of Mine

In my last blog post, I wanted to outline my working knowledge of the “inner critic,” something that I have found to be one of the most prevalent “things” that exists in my practice. As I mentioned in that post, everyone has one, but not everyone is consumed by his or her inner critic. Some of us, I’ll refer to as the extremely lucky, can get through their days without hearing their inner critic at every turn, every decision, and every mistake, that they make. I’m here to make an announcement: I am not one of those “extremely lucky” few, and I was inspired to write this post because of my own inner critic. And it feels good to put that out there, because truth be told, it feels good to be seen as a human being that struggles too. So if you are reading this (for which I appreciate you), and you have something critical to say, rest assured that I’ve probably thought the same thing at some point, so you don’t need to say it. 🙂

One of the most confounding things about that critical voice is that it can motivate us. My inner critic says a few things to me about blogging: “you have to keep doing it, and if you don’t keep up the pace you’ve set of twice per month, you will have started something and not finished it to completion,” to which I respond (quietly) “when can I say it is complete then?” To which it doesn’t have much of an answer, because with the critic it’s never actually “good enough” to be considered complete. However, my inspiration for writing this really came from the other thing it recently said to me: “don’t let anyone read this, it’s not good enough!” I actually voiced my inner critic out loud when a colleague did start reading my blog, out loud, while we were on the phone. I quickly became flush with embarrassment, and asked for him to keep the critique brief. But I could see how loud it was, and it was as if I couldn’t contain it, I had to broadcast it. The critic has actually prevented me from publishing my blog anywhere but on my own website.

But now that I’m a year into this endeavor (and the supportive voice is letting me know how much of an accomplishment that is for someone who had writer’s block for quite some time at the beginning), I’m beginning to realize, what’s the point if I don’t put myself out there? I’ve also learned, maybe from the supportive voice as well, that I have something to say. Even if not everyone can relate to my words, some people can. And even if only one person felt resonance while reading this, then I can say with an almost 100% assurance that it was worth it. In sum, blogging is becoming one of many of my processes where I try to balance my inner critic with my logical brain, and hearing my more supportive voice in that logic. So here’s to not believing in oneself at all times, because that is truly a part of the human condition, and to being more “okay” with things being “good enough.” Do you find you have an inner critic that keeps your motivation high, but that ultimately keeps your self-esteem low? I want to help you with balancing that struggle. Click here to learn more about Focusing-oriented Therapy or contact me directly.